...I just accidentally got orange juice in my own ear.

I wish I hadn't thrown away my snot butterfly.

I would mail it to you.

Song idea: Summertiiiiime and the mall cops are easy.

Oh my lord. omg. Some girl just pulled down her shirt and bra in the middle of the store so her friend could take a pic of her boob job.

AHH THEY JUST HAD TO RETAKE THE PHOTO THIS IS MORE NUDITY THAN I BARGAINED FOR TODAY.

Blew my nose and the snot looked like a butterfly!

Dude this morning they were playing that song about it being friday night, it's like dude it's monday morning.

I might spend too much time watching the ice rink, I dreamed I was ice skating last night.

My lord I am ready to kill myself. I've still got like four and a half hours left to go.

If i ever got pregnant by a South America, naming my son amigo.

Dude, my lord, this morning I remembered the funniest thing.

Indian pants are mostly cotton, with a drawstring to hol them up. So I had just gotten to India, and was wearing drawstring pants, had to pee SO bad, but they were tied in an insanely tight monster knot and I tried to untie them so hard by I couldn't and I had to pee for something like 7 hours until I couldn't stand it anymore and I literally hulked my way out of my pants, shredded them with my bare hands off of my body, and after I peed I was like, fuck, now I don't have any pants.

...when you don't reply immediately sometimes I assume it's cause you're busy updating tumblr, and I get all paranoid and I'm like "Ruby, you best check yoself before you wreck yoself"

...or that you're sucking face. O.O

I think I'm on the verge of learning to gleek, like y'know, squirting spit out of your mouth?

DUDE I CAN SO DO THAT.

I'm real proud, I've aspired to this for years.

No. Way.

My tongue ring was crucial to this discovery.

It's already improving my life for the better.

I can now do it whenever I want..if I'm yawning..

....just accidentally drooled all over myself..yeah I'm lying in bed practicing my gleeking, nbd.

AHAHAHHA OMFG Marc and I are dying right now.

Sluuuut

Next time I see you, Ima gleek in yo face.

WHAT KIND OF BEES MAKE MILK?

....

BOOBEES.

Ruby that's not funny..

No, I don't need water, I've got beer.

So I decided last night that drinking more would cure the remnants of my hangover...which it did, temporarily :(

Ruby...That is not your brightest moment.

Ima go ahead and blame peer pressure. I only had like three shots and...4 beers? I was so far behind everyone, my friend was at 9 shots when I left.

My other friend didn't know how much he'd had because he drinks his vodka by the glass...

#Exchangie parties.

Dude, still so nauseous. Do you think thai food will help?

no haha.

Thai food did great things for my hangover.

OH MY LORD I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH BECAUSE WALKING MADE ME MOTION SICK. I DON'T WANT IT TO BE ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

...jammed my finger on the wall trying to turn on the light. Fuck everything.

Casey...I am the most miserable of all creatures right now....

Omfg, I totally forgot you'd been texting me all morning, these are great.

Is that what you think of whenever I text you? The quality of my texts? Are you just using me to become internet famous? I'm glad my texts entertain you but I am a sad rock AND I REFUSE TO BE USED.

Bitch.

I'm gonna make Jordan battlesnakes.

I just played my first game of battlesnakes!

...what the what..

Fighting without arms.

Jordans 21st tonight.

We've got a fifth, a 24 pack, and a 6 pack.

Drunk dialing you tonight.

I am so bad at drinkin games.

It's okay, me too.

Please tell me that URL.

Something I was gonna tell you: Casey made a Tumblr of all the dumb shit I text her.

...yep...

Why do I accidentally text you of all people, all the time?

Oh my lord. This guy just farted soooo loud. We're the only ones in the store, so awk. Ahahah.